There are science-backed strategies to get people to like you. The following can be especially helpful to keep in mind when you are meeting a new a client. Read on to find out how to develop better relationships faster.
1. Copy them – This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking the other person’s behavior.
2. Spend more time around them – According to the mere-exposure effect, people tend to like things that are familiar to them.
3. Compliment other people – People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. This phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.
4. Be in a great mood – Emotional contagion describes what happens when people are strongly influenced by the moods of other people. According to a research paper from the Ohio University and the University of Hawaii, people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them.
5. Make friends with their friends – The social-network theory behind this effect is called triadic closure, which means that two people are likely to be closer when they have a common friend.
6. Don’t be complimentary all the time – The gain-loss theory of interpersonal attractiveness suggests that your positive comments will make more of an impact if you deliver them only occasionally.
7. Be warm and competent – According to the model, if you can portray yourself as warm — i.e., noncompetitive and friendly — people will feel like they can trust you. If you seem competent — for example, if you have high economic or educational status — they’re more inclined to respect you.
8. Reveal your flaws from time to time – According to the pratfall effect, people will like you more after you make a mistake — but if they only believe you are usually a competent person. Revealing that you aren’t perfect makes you more relatable and vulnerable toward the people around you.
9. Emphasize your shared values – If you’re hoping to get friendly with someone, try to find a point of similarity between you two and highlight it.
10. Casually touch them – This is known as subliminal touching, which occurs when you touch a person so subtly that they barely notice. Common examples include tapping someone’s back or touching their arm, which can make them feel more warmly toward you.
11. Smile – In one study, nearly 100 undergraduate women looked at photos of another woman in one of four poses: smiling in an open-body position, smiling in a closed-body position, not smiling in an open-body position, or not smiling in a closed-body position. Results suggested that the woman in the photo was liked most when she was smiling, regardless of her body position.
12. See the other person how they want to be seen – People want to be perceived in a way that aligns with their own beliefs about themselves. This phenomenon is described by self-verification theory. We all seek confirmations of our views, positive or negative.
13. Tell them a secret – Self-disclosure may be one of the best relationship-building techniques.
14. Expect good things from people – According to the Pygmalion effect, people treat others in ways that are consistent with their expectations of them and therefore cause the person to behave in a way that confirms those expectations.
15. Act like you like them – Psychologists have known for a while about a phenomenon called “reciprocity of liking”: When we think someone likes us, we tend to like them as well.
16. Display a sense of humor – Research from Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles found that, regardless of whether people were thinking about their ideal friend or romantic partner, having a sense of humor was really important.
17. Let them talk about themselves – Harvard researchers recently discovered that talking about yourself may be inherently rewarding, the same way that food, money, and sex are. In other words, letting someone share a story or two about their life instead of blabbing on about yours could give them more positive memories of your interaction.
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